


*Insert Clickbait Here* (Lance's Vlogs)

by thehufflepuffreference



Series: Write Me Like A Love Song [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Beauty Guru Allura, Bisexual Lance, Blacksmith Keith, Chef Hunk, Collection of one-shots, College AU, DIY Coran, F/F, F/M, Gay Allura, Gay Keith, Gen, M/M, Mutual Pining, Reviewer Shiro, Slow burn Klance, Some pop culture references, Trans Male Keith (Voltron), Video Gamer Pidge, Vlogger Lance, Voltron youtubers, Youtube AU, Youtuber AU, also bad writing, bi lance, musician lance, part of my YouTuber au, this is very self indulgent, trans keith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-12-22
Packaged: 2020-01-07 15:06:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18413114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehufflepuffreference/pseuds/thehufflepuffreference
Summary: Team Voltron is a mess, and Lance documents it through Video. Ongoing fic of one shots for some of Lance's vlogs. Mostly out of context of the series' story-line, so don't worry about it.





	1. Allura's Very Specific feelings for Carol Danvers

**Author's Note:**

> I'm coming up with these faster than I'm writing chapters, so I'll go back later and put in when in the series they're happening (maybe). Some of these are better written than others, but mostly I'm just trying to share thoughts that are coming to me.  
> I thought Lance's vlogs would fit better in their own fic rather than including them in each of the parts of the series, since for a large part I have them planned out.  
> I'll be putting up new chapters in this as frequently as I come up with new vlogs, so keep that in mind.  
> If you have anything you want to see in his vlogs, let me know and I'll probably write about it. 
> 
> This first part was inspired by seeing Captain Marvel (for the third time) with my friend the other day
> 
> Keep Rocking On,  
> THR

Lance walks backwards into the kitchen, finishing up a story about his Physics class that day when he hears a groan behind him. He looks into the viewfinder of his camera and sees Allura sitting with her head resting on the table in the background. Pidge and Shiro are laughing around her. Lance turns around and walks up to her, asking, “What’s up, Princess?”  
  
Allura groans again, and turns her head to look at the camera. Her makeup is smudged around her eyes and her face is flushed. Her hair is in disarray. “I’m gay. I’m so gay, Lance. This has never been such a problem.” Pidge howls with laughter and Lance can be heard chuckling from behind the camera.  
  
“You wanna elaborate on that?” He prods. Allura glares at him and turns her head back against the table.  
  
“We just...we just got back from seeing Captain Marvel. Allura’s in love with her.” Pidge gets out around laughter. “She’s a disaster.”  
  
Allura looks up to glare at Pidge. “Carol is a beautiful woman and I would be honored to be blasted across the room by her fists.” Pidge stops laughing for a few seconds, then starts laughing harder than ever before. Allura’s face glows with a blush and she hides her face in her hair. Shiro is just shaking his head. “I didn’t mean it like that! She could destroy me and it’s so hot!” Allura cries from behind her hair.  
  
“We understand, Allura. Assured destruction is the number one trait I look for in my romantic partners.” Lance places a placating hand on her shoulder. He turns the camera back on himself and winks. The vlog cuts to his end card.


	2. Don't Let Shiro in the Kitchen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty self explanatory

"Hello Laniacs, welcome back to my life. Today I'm with my best bro in the kitchen while we prep for our 'family dinner night' as our house dad likes to call it. What're we cooking today, Hunkaroonie?" Lance speaks into his camera, and bumps his hip against Hunk's thigh where they stand next to each other at the counter. Hunk grins and lifts a hand to the camera.  
  
"Well, Lance, this isn't a cooking video, so I'm not gonna get too into it. But we're making gnocchi with Pidge's grandmother's recipe she emailed me. And this is the first time I'm making them, so is it okay if I mostly just listen and you talk?" He focuses back down on the counter, and Lance smiles at the camera.  
  
"Sure thing, Hunka-Hunka burnin' love! Would you like to hear about the dude that dresses like a clown in my Marine Bio class or the person who brought a full meal, like sides and all to my English Lit course?" Lance sets his camera on a tripod that stands just beyond the counter, and sits at a stool so both he and Hunk are in frame.  
  
"The clown, please, what the hell?" Hunk continues cooking, and Lance launches into his story, hands flying through the air, eyes practically glowing.  
  
"So it's a pretty big lecture hall, right? Like it's a big class, and I kid you not, every single day this dude comes to class fully dressed like a clown. I'm talking full makeup, big curly rainbow wig, big clown shoes, the whole shebang—" Hunk cuts Lance off,  
  
"Tiny car too?" Lance pouts.  
  
"Not that I've seen. But seriously nobody has commented on it. Not even the professor, I cannot keep my eyes off this kid, sitting in full clown regalia, taking Marine Bio notes. Isn't that super weird, bro?"  
  
Hunk's response is muffled by Shiro coming into the room behind the camera. "Hey guys, can I help you out, Hunk?"  
  
Having just put some things in a pan to cook, Hunk tells Shiro to make sure nothing sticks, and turns back to the counter. Lance is just about to continue his discussion when a loud hissing comes from the stove, and then a roar of flames. Shiro starts yelling indistinguishable words, and Hunk turns around eyes wide. Lance runs to the other side of the counter to get his camera and turns it on the scene. They are all yelling over each other.  
  
"What did you _do_ Shiro? I turned my back for one second!" Hunk shouts as he looks around frantically for something to put out the fire.  
  
"I didn't do anything! I hardly even touched the pan!" Shiro holds the pan far away from his body as the fire rages on.  
  
"Put it out! Put it out! Don't wave it around! Put it out!" Lance yells at the two of them, while standing safely across the room.  
  
He catches Keith rushing into the kitchen, throwing his hands up in the air and running out. Keith charges back in with a fire extinguisher and sprays it at the fire. Luckily Shiro wasn't in the line of spray from the extinguisher, having moved the pan away just in time. They're all breathing heavily by the time the fire is fully out. Shiro slumps against the stove, now turned off. Hunk is facing the wall, head in his hands. Lance is shaking minutely from a corner. Keith turns between Hunk and Lance, brandishing the fire extinguisher at them.  
  
"Never. Let. Shiro. Cook." He drops the extinguisher and exits. Lance turns the camera back to his face, which is noticeably paler than his usual.  
  
"Alright guys, that's gonna be it for today." The video cuts to his end card.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a few more I'm working on to add tonight.  
> If you have anything you want to see let me know!
> 
> PSA don't spray fire extinguishers at your friends, kids!
> 
> Keep Rocking On,  
> THR


	3. In Their Natural Habitat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk and Keith play video games. Lance narrates.

Lance walks into the lounge while vlogging and finds Hunk and Keith playing video games. Keith is wearing a pair of Pidge’s leggings that are far too short on him, but they’re patterned in moths from the Moth Meme (™) and he loves them more than she does, and a shirt his friend Regris designed and screen printed especially for him that features one of his blade designs and the name “Blades of Marmora” for the company Keith hopes to start after college. He is sitting upside down on the couch, with his head hanging off the edge and his feet thrown over the top.   
Hunk wears a cutoff blue top that Shiro decided he didn’t want, and a pair of neon yellow booty shorts Lance bought him as a gag gift for Christmas that say “Sunshine” on the ass. He’s laying on the floor in front of the couch with his ankles hooked in the air behind him.  
  
Lance doesn’t focus on the game they’re playing, just starts narrating in a horrible Australian accent as if it were a wildlife documentary, “And here, in their natural habitats, we see examples of two College Cryptids of different species. Surprisingly, they are seeming to get along at the moment, stalking their prey. The smaller Cryptid is colloquially known as “Mullet Man,” and is less dangerous than he originally appears, though you should be weary if the Mullet makes direct eye contact. The more colorful Cryptid, on the other hand, which we call "Vitamin C" for how important he his for your health, typically exhibits friendly behavior, but as you can see from the bright coloring on his rump (a close up on Hunk’s butt), he is also displaying warning coloration to show predators that he can be poisonous.”  
  
Lance’s camera is suddenly obscured and Lance lets out a squawk -- Keith had thrown a pillow at him. “Don’t talk about Hunk’s rump like that. Get out of here, you’re disturbing our game.” Lance left the room grumbling about being unappreciated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again. This is it for the night.  
> Writing this felt like a fever dream.  
> As always if you have anything you want to see, drop a comment.
> 
> Keep Rocking On,  
> THR


	4. Lance and Keith Have Had an Adventure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk and Shiro find Lance and Keith after a night out and discover...a furry little surprise

The video opens with a shaky shot of a wooden floor in a darkened hallway, giggling is heard behind the camera, and faint whispers are heard in the background. The person filming keeps the camera down as they walk across the floor. Avid followers may recognize the socks on the filmer’s feet as belonging to Hunk, or the giggles behind him as belonging to Shiro. The video pans up to reveal the hallway of the Voltron house, a light behind the two filming, and a soft light coming from an open door, which followers would recognize as the kitchen entrance.  
  
Hunk and Shiro reach the doorway and Hunk angles the camera inside, where one can see Lance hunched over at the kitchen table, seemingly talking to the floor, whispering and giggling. Keith is slumped at another chair, head clutched between his hands, and a look of deep regret etched across his face.  
  
“Whatcha guys doin’?” Hunk asks, the footage softly jolting as he leans against the door frame. Shiro giggles behind him again. Keith jolts up, eyes wide as he takes in the two figures in front of him. He shakes his head, face still drawn. Lance glances up from the floor, and goes back to cooing. Shiro enters the frame, shoulders shaking with laughter and approaches Keith.  
  
“Holding up, Buddy?” Keith shakes his head again, looking toward Lance and then dropping his head onto his arms atop the table. Hunk enters the kitchen, and goes around the side of the table where Lance sits, finally letting viewers in on the joke.  
  
There, on the kitchen floor of the Voltron house, is a medium-sized cardboard box with six wiggling kittens inside it. Lance continues whispering to them, as they jostle each other around.  
  
“Where’d you find these, Lance?” Hunk says in sing-song, Lance looking up at him with a dopey grin and slightly unfocused eyes.  
  
“We were coming home from the club.” Keith answers, his head still tucked into his arms. Shiro is patting his back, a huge smile on his face, looking between Keith, Lance, and Hunk behind the camera in incredulity of the situation. “He heard them meowing, and he just looked at me, and said we had to get them. And then…” Keith raises his head and pulls his fingers through his hair, “Then he just picked up the box and walked home! We can’t have six cats! We don’t have room!” Shiro falls back into a chair in raucous laughter, and Hunk can be heard chuckling from behind the camera.  
  
Lance glares at Keith from his position on the floor, where he now cradles the box of kittens.  
  
“You are not getting rid of the babies, Keith. These are our children now and you can’t get rid of them.” Keith groans and knocks his head against the table, letting out aborted sobs of frustration. “I’ve already named them, and decided who will be who’s parent.” Lance starts picking up the kittens one by one, and describing his reasoning as Hunk turns the camera around to face himself.  
  
“Well there you have it, Laniacs, team Voltron may be getting some furry friends, if Lance has anything to say about it. That’s it for Lance’s...and I guess Keith’s, adventures for tonight! Lance will be back to update you all in a day or two! Here’s Hunk signing off!” Hunk gives the camera a peace sign and stops recording.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I am sorry for being crappy. The last half of my semester was insane and I am just now settling into post-grad life. I'm not promising regular updates, but they will definitely be more frequent (if not for this, then at least for the rest of the series). 
> 
> As always if there's something you'd like the characters in this universe to do, something you'd like to read, dynamics you'd like me to explore, or anything and everything else, let me know! 
> 
> Keep Rocking On,  
> THR


	5. The Christmas Song Bracket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge has a wild idea and ropes the rest of the Voltron YouTube crew into it with her. Set a year after the events thus far in the full series - Shiro and Allura have graduated, the rest are still in college.

The video opens to a worn baseball tee-clad figure leaning over the camera. The shot is blurry but fades into focus. Lance leans back enough that viewers can see his wide grin and the concentration furrowing his brow. “There!” He exclaims, and tosses himself back into the couch, where a disgruntled Keith, a cheerful Hunk, and a smirking Pidge also sit. They are all four wearing elf caps, while Shiro and Allura can be seen in the background decorating a tabletop Christmas tree.

“I don’t even know why we’re doing this. Half of us don’t even celebrate Christmas.” Keith mumbles, just loud enough that the camera’s mic picks him up. His arms are crossed, and he’s looking away from the group. Lance sighs, and Pidge pinches the bridge of her nose.

“It’s the principle of the matter, Keith. We’re doing this for science.” She replies, sending the boy a dirty look. She turns to Lance. “Well? Set it up!”

Hunk chuckles and nudges Lance, who finally acknowledges the camera. “Hello, Laniacs! Welcome back to my channel. I know this is a little different than the usual vlog that I post today, but Pidge has been putting a lot of work into a little surprise for the holiday season and we wanted to do a big Voltron collab for you guys. As you can see from behind me, Shiro and Allura have joined us back at our university—again, if you know what it is, we all thank you for keeping it out of the comments!—as they have graduated. We wanted our whole Voltron fam here for the announcement. Pidge, would you like to do the honors?”

Shiro and Allura paused in their decorating to sit on the floor in front of the group on the couch, both adorned in tacky Christmas sweaters. Pidge’s glasses glint maniacally as she gives her full attention to the camera.

“I have devised a Christmas song bracket to empirically determine the best Christmas song. We are going to be doing separate polls on each of our channels for a total of four times a week for a total of sixteen brackets. I have also set up an online bracket system which we will combine with our poll results. The final result will be announced on Christmas Eve this year.

"To those of you who do not celebrate Christmas, please still feel free to participate. Your secular traditions don’t have any hold on whether you can recognize good music. And keep yourself honest. If you know us in person or are interviewed for a poll, please don’t also submit an online vote. I think that’s all for the rules. The bracket will be posted tonight on mychristmasbracket.ten and you can submit your first vote. A new pair will be revealed every other day when a video drops. Good luck to everyone. If you have any suggestions, drop them in the comments.”

The group smiles at the camera as Lance claps his hands. “And our most enthusiastic participant, Keith, will be dropping the first video tomorrow.” Shiro ends the recording as Keith begins protesting.

As promised, the YouTubers trade off airing bracket videos on their channels, often sticking with at least a similar version of their original formats. Hunk does on camera interviews; Shiro does voice recordings over music videos of the two songs; Pidge tries to sway people to her opinions through analytics, etc.

Two months of videos pass very quickly, and finally the final two songs are revealed. The last voting is to happen live. The Voltron crew gathers around the couch like in the opening video, this time all decked in matching Christmas footie PJs. Among chatter between Lance and Shiro about whether the stream is lagged or not, Pidge opens the livestream.

“Hello fellow Paladins, since I’m guessing it’s not just Laniacs on this livestream. You’ve been with us through this whole bracket, so thank you very much for participating, for being good sports, and for making my dreams come true.” She pauses to wipe away a fake tear, and Hunk takes over.

“We’re very excited to reveal the final two songs and to open the poll so we can all learn about the best Christmas song at the same time. The poll will be open for ten minutes, and will open in two waves so we don’t crash the server, as there are….” Hunk trails off, and Allura provides a cheery

“1.3 million!” Hunk’s eyes widen and Pidge giggles like a maniac

“An astonishing 1.3 million viewers watching right now.” He takes in a shaky breath and chuckles “hold on, I’m trying to conceptualize that many people.” 

Lance and Shiro finally pop fully into frame, ostensibly having fixed the lag problem. Keith is still sulking, but is trying visibly harder to do so. Shiro leans on him obnoxiously anyway.

“So, without further ado,” Allura pulls an envelope seemingly out of nowhere and opens it, revealing a white and gold card. “The final two songs for the Christmas Song bracket are….” she looks to the others to incite a drum roll, which Lance starts on Keith’s knees. “Rocking Around the Christmas Tree, originally performed by Brenda Lee, and” she holds a dramatic pause, “All I Want For Christmas Is You, by Mariah Carey. Voting will commence in 5, 4, 3, 2….” Pidge is frantically typing on her laptop to arrange the polls, “1. See you all in 10 minutes!" Lance pauses the stream, and they collapse into laughter.

“There were really 1.3 million people watching that just then?” Keith asks Allura, raising a skeptical eyebrow. She nods, tucking a lock of glittering silver hair behind her ear (Lance had gotten a little carried away earlier).

“That’s incredible. I mean, it sort of makes sense. That’s like a fifth of all of our fan bases combined. I bet that many people care about something dumb like this.” Lance points out, leaning his full body weight over Keith’s legs from his position on the floor. Keith tries to shift him off but he won’t budge. The six friends spend the rest of the time goofing around, rehashing holiday plans, and taking bets on which song would ultimately win. When the ten minutes were up, Lance reopened the stream.

“Okay, all, we’re just going to give Pidge one more minute to make sure the votes have all come through correctly, and then we’ll announce the Voltron Paladin-Approved #1 Best Christmas Song of All Time. First of all, as always, we would like to give a huge warm shoutout to our friend Shay who transcribes all our videos and helps us with captions so our fellow paladins who are deaf or HOH can follow along. We want our videos to be accessible to everyone, so if you have any ideas, please drop a comment. Thank you, Shay, for all your hard work for us!” Lance vamped to give Pidge more time, and included the thank you bit in ASL as he tried to remember to do at the end of all his videos.

Since meeting Shay, and especially since she and Hunk started seeing each other, making their videos more accessible, and for each of them to start trying to be able to sign, was very important to each of the “paladins.” Finally Pidge was ready with the results. 

“The results are in. You heard it here first, folks, Rocking Around the Christmas Tree is the ‘Voltron Paladin-Approved #1 Best Christmas Song of All Time.’ Thank you for your participation in this year’s bracket. We’ll have something else holiday related next year. Happy holidays to all who celebrate them, and thank whoever you want that winter is at least half over to whoever doesn’t celebrate a winter holiday.” She concluded with a small smirk, and a click as her laptop closed.

“See you all soon, but maybe not until the new year!” Lance said, and the stream ended as all of Voltron waved to the camera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello All,
> 
> Sorry again for my absence. I’m not here to make excuses, I am just trying my best to adult.
> 
> I hope you at least found this chapter somewhat entertaining. It is based on my actual life from earlier today when I forced my coworkers and customers to participate in this very same bracket (sped up to take place in an hour and a half) and had the very same results.
> 
> As I stated in the chapter summary this takes place a year after the events in my most current part of the full series (The Last Shred of Truth). I am trying so hard to continue it.
> 
> If you have any ideas or anything you want to see here, comment or find me on tumblr @thehufflepuffreference.
> 
> P.S. I forgot to mention that Shay is HOH, and has been so since birth. It will be more contextual once I get some more fics out that fit into the storyline. I'd say it's at least six parts until she becomes a better character in that line...I'm sorry D:> As always, Keep Rocking On  
>  THR


End file.
